Struggling to function and I can't see the end

Hello everyone, hope everyone is doing well. I've been a carer on and off for 3 years, caring for my partner who has a type of blood cancer. He was diagnosed when he was 27, I was 25, 3 years later we've received the all clear, but it relapsed. He had more intense chemo and immunotherapy which didn't work and then radiotherapy which done enough for him to have a stem cell transplant. He's just had the stem cell transplant and things have been really tough. For the first couple of years I think I've coped really well, we both have big families but the support isn't really there so it's just the two of us. I've continued working full-time throughout, apart from one occasion where I dropped down to part-time hours but unfortunately at the end of 2023, I was made redundant from a job I really liked and wouldn't have left otherwise. 

Since then, everything feels like it's falling apart. I feel so exhausted, mentally, physically and emotionally. I started a new job in January when my partner was in hospital, which meant I was working all day then visiting him in hospital most if not every evening and weekend. He's so fatigued and exhausted himself, I'm doing everything in the house, I'm cooking all his meals, dressing him, helping him shower etc and working full-time in a new job with more responsibility than before and I don't know how much more I can manage.

Most days, I just sit at my desk and stare into space or out the window, I don't do any actual work and it isn't long before they notice and probably fire me. I'm in a probation period currently so they would only need to serve 1 weeks notice, pay me and that would be it. But I just don't care enough anymore.

I'm not sure if I'm exaggerating to say I'm broken. 

Does anyone have any practical advice or tips from experience of how I can manage this situation? I don't know how much longer this can go on for. 

Thanks for listening x

  • I'm so sorry to read all that you and your partner have been through SBNS. It sounds like the last 3 years have been incredibly difficult.

    I'm sure your partner really appreciates all that you are doing for him, but it's so important that you look after yourself as well. Much easier said than done I know, especially with all the challenges being a full time carer brings, but if you feel it has now got to a point where you need help, please reach out to Carers UK. They have a lot of information, support and advice that could really help you at this time.

    Your GP can also be a great source of help at this time so if you can, do try and book an appointment and let them know what's going on as they will do all that they can to support you and your partner.

    I'm not sure if this is something you have looked in to but we have some information about what support that may be available at home. I hope this is useful but for further information and advice it may be worth getting in touch with Blood Cancer UK.

    So many of our members know how tough being a carer can be so I'm sure you will receive some support and advice from them soon but if you'd like to discuss any of this further with one of our cancer nurses, you can do so on 0808 800 4040, Monday - Friday between 9a.m - 5p.m.

    We're thinking of you SBNS and hope you're able to get the practical support and advice you're seeking to help you through this very challenging time.

    Kind regards,

    Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator