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Ex husband stage 4

Lucylu
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Hello everyone,

This is a slightly different situation to most of yours. A few months ago my ex husband (who is the father of my 13 year old daughter) was diagnosed with bowel cancer. He was then told it has spread to his liver and is stage 4, and worse than they thought. He has just started chemo, the maximum dosage they can give him.

Although he is my ex, we parted on fairly good terms and he has our daughter a couple of times a week. I lost my own dad to cancer when I was 8- he was only 35. This is all very close to home and I'm terrified that my daughter will lose her dad. He was told that if treatment doesn't work then he'll have a maximum of 2 years left.

It's such a strange time and I'm much more upset than I thought I'd be.

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    Hi Lucylu,

    I notice that nobody has replied to your post yet and I just want to bid you a very warm welcome to our forum.

    I am so sorry to hear about your ex and hope that he is coping with his chemo. This is bound to be hard on you, especially as you have already lost your own father to cancer. All I can say is that, I lost my mum to secondary breast cancer and have since had two bouts myself. Treatments have come a long way since then, and there was just no comparison between the diagnosis, treatment and after care, which we both experienced. I am now 14 years post diagnosis and I still lead a busy life.

    Have you broken the news to your daughter and if so, how has she taken it? Try to think positively for her sake and help her to make as many memories with her dad, as she can. I hope that you both have the support of family and friends to get you through this.

    PIease keep in touch and let us know how you get on. We are always here for you.

    Kind regards,


    Jolamine xx

  • Offline in reply to Jolamine

    Thank you so much for your response and I'm very sorry to hear of your past troubles too, along with the loss of your mum.

    Daughter is coping well, however that may well change. He was taken into hospital todY with more excessive bleeding and passing out. He's only had one round of chemo and this doesn't bode well. 

    I am beside myself with worry x

  • Offline in reply to Lucylu

    Hi Lucylu,

    I know that this is all very worrying, but it may be that this chemo is just too strong for your ex. This is not uncommon and they may need to tweak his treatment. I am glad to hear that your daughter is coping well so far. 

    I am thinking of you all and hope that he recovers from this and that he gets out of hospital soon.

    Please remember that we are always here for you.

    Kind regards,

    Jolamine xx

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