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My mom got cancer

Delilah2
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Today would have been the day my mom had her operation to remove her ear as she got ear cancer she got there today to be told its spread to the back of her throat and the couldn't operate as she wouldn't come off the operating table. She needs radiotherapy she not been told or didn't listen to the outcome we are all distraught. I'm trying to be strong but all im doing is crying its taken her left side of her face like she had a stroke and struggling to eat I suggested I make some homemade soup. I feel helpless

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    Hi Delilah,

    A very warm welcome to our forum.

    I am so sorry to hear about your mum's diagnosis and know just how hard this is to accept. Many of us fail to take in the full details of a diagnosis, when faced with such devastating news. Would it be possible for someone to attend her appointments with her? It is often helpful to write down any questions you all have before any consultation, as it is all too easy to forget important things at the actual appointment. 

    Don't worry about crying. This is a great way to reduce your stress. However, try to do it in private, whilst trying to stay strong in front of your mum. I am sure that if she agreed to you speaking to her care team and let them know this, that they would be able to suggest  foodstuffs that she might manage to eat.  There are build up drinks and puddings available on prescription, which might help to keep her calorie uptake acceptable in the meantime.

    Please keep in touch and let us know how she gets on and remember, that we are always here for both of you.

    Kind regards,

    Jolamine xx 

  • Offline in reply to Jolamine

    Hi Jolamine thank you for the reply I have sorted a prescription for build up drinks but in the meantime I brought some I have a look at puddings.

    Thank you 

  • Offline in reply to Delilah2

    HI Delilah,

    Your mom may not like all the flavours in drinks or puddings, but oncer you know what she likes best, you can just get them. Don't hesitate to contact her care team for more advice, if she continues to have trouble eating.

    Kind regards,

    Jolamine xx

  • Offline in reply to Jolamine

    Hi Jolamine

    She got some drinks and she been taking them over the last couple of days. I made her some homemade soups she had turkey soup and she had some tomato soup I made which she eaten and managed to keep down. I made her some shepherds pies but she not gone to more solid foods yet. She also eaten some mashed banana and a small individual truffle. She having good and bad days just waiting to hear from for her appointment for her radio therapy I suppose the Christmas break not helping but I chase up on 2nd Jan as they received the referral.

    I made the food to try and make it easier for my mom and dad. I think I gone in productive mode still can't believe we are here.

  • Offline in reply to Delilah2

    Hi Delilah,

    I am glad to hear that she has been managing to keep some drinks and soup down. Some lightly scrambled egg might also slide down. It  must be so frustrating when you go to the bother of making food, only to find that your mom can't manage it. There will be a dietician at the hospital, who can recommend other foodstuffs. If things become too difficult, she can always be fed by a peg line, so don't hesitate to talk to some of her care workers if necessary.

    Kind regards,

    Jolamine xx

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