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Braeside
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I’m so scared, after months of my husband going to the GP with agonising pain, I phoned for an ambulance on 1st December. The outcome is metastatic prostate cancer which is in the spine. We have had a couple of good days when he has had a tiny meal a couple of times a day, but he’s so tired and weak again, I don’t know what to do. The difference in what the doctors and consultants say is really confusing. Nobody is saying the prognosis, and I feel like someone is ripping my insides out, every time I’m on my own. I’m very positive when we’re together, but it’s killing me when he’s gone to bed.

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    Has no one actually sat you both down and laid out a treatment plan? As in, radiotherapy to the spine if that's what causing the pain? Have you even been told if that's an option or were you both ushered out of the room with the bare minimum, and got told they'll be back in touch with you both? Has your husband been assign a cancer nurse at the treating hospital as part of the team looking after him? If he has, I'd call them tomorrow and ask what's actually happening. I get it's the holiday period, but cancer has a bad habit of not taking that into consideration. If he's in a lot of pain and not eating, I'd also mention this to the nurse.

    If he's losing weight, ensure drinks are supposedly quite good alternatives for people struggling with solids. You get them from the likes of amazon.

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    Hi Braeside,

    A very warm welcome to our forum, although I'm so sorry to hear why you're here.

    I agree with ProfBaw's advice, but would just like to say that you can get the Ensure build-up drinks and puddings on prescription. Some of the flavours are not great, so you are as well to experiment to start with, to see what flavours he likes. We got a mixed tray for my mother-in-law. She only really took to one flavour, so we got a tray of that thereafter. Your husband's care team may not give you the prognosis, unless you ask them outright. Even then, it is somewhat of a "guesstimate". You might also want to decide whether your husband wants to know. If not, you might be best to get this news on your own.

    My thoughts and prayers are with you. This is an exceptionally difficult time for you, but somehow or other, you'll find the strength to get through. 

    Please keep in touch and let us know how you get on. We are always here for you.

    Kind regards,

    Jolamine xx

  • Offline in reply to ProfBaw

    Thank you so much for your help, we weren’t told when we left hospital who our specialist nurse was, but I called as you suggested and got the information. We had to go back to the hospital and found he had thrush in his mouth, which is why he was not eating. We’ve now got a copt of a letter the hospital sent to our GP on 13th December asking the GP to change his regular tablets as they have effects with a new treatment he is starting on 4th January. I’ve chased that up now, so hopefully we can sort that. Thank you so much again for your support and advice.

  • Offline in reply to Braeside

    Hi Braeside,

    I am glad to hear that you managed to get the problem with your husband's mouth identified and I hope that he has been given something to beat the Thrush. It's so sad to hear that all of this could have so easily been avoided. It is also fortunate that you got a copy of the hospital's letter to his GP and are able to sort his medication before he starts his new treatment - I'm sure that he doesn't need any further complications.

    I hope that his mouth heals soon and that he can start eating again.

    Kind regards,

    Jolamine xx

    ,  .

  • Offline in reply to Jolamine

    Thank you so much for your very kind words Jolamine, it really is appreciated. I’m very thankful for your prayers, we are going to keep positive.

    Happy New Year to you and your family xxx

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