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Husband diagnosed with Bowel Cancer & liver

EmsterhubbyCT
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Hi all,

I am new to this site and am feeling really lost and helpless.  2 nights ago, my husband was admitted to the surgical assessment unit. Last night he had emergency surgery following a scan which shows advanced stage bowel cancer which  has spread to his liver. He has had his bowel removed and I think the procedure was an illiostomy? Sorry I can’t spell. 

Firstly, I was terrified that he wouldn’t survive this surgery and stayed at the hospital until he was moved to the ICU.  They seemed to think the surgery had gone smoothly and I was able to go in and see him.  He is normally fit and well but I am just trying to work out how to help him through this.  Obviously, the prognosis is not great but where do I go for support?

thanks

ET

  • Hello ET

    I'm so sorry to hear about your husband's diagnosis this week. It's obviously been a rollercoaster week for you both and natural that you will have concerns and questions about what comes next. 

    It's good to hear that the surgery has gone smoothly and I hope that he's continued to recover well over the past few days. The fact that he's normally fit and well will stand him in good stead over the coming weeks as he continues to heal and hopefully once he's recovered from the operation the team will in a position to talk to you both about possible further treatment options. We have some information on our website here that may be of interest. 

    Your husband should have seen, or will be given details for, a specialist nurse. Do lean on them for support and advice. They are experts in their field and a mine of information, both for the patient and family. 

    Here at Cancer Research UK we have a team of nurses that you can call to talk things through with. I know they will be happy to offer any advice, information and support they can. they're available Monday to Friday 9am to 5pm. You might also want to consider getting in touch with Maggie's if you have a centre local to you for support. If there's not one local then do speak to your GP surgery or the nurse specialist for information about services local to where you live. 

    I know we have had members here on the forum previously who have had bowel cancer that has spread to the liver. Hopefully some of them will see this post and pop along to say Hello and share their stories with you. 

    We know that this is a difficult time ET so do keep in touch if it helps to have somewhere to put down in writing how you're feeling and how things are going for you and your husband. 

    Sending you both my best wishes, 
    Jenn
    Cancer Chat moderator

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    Hi Jenn,  thank you for your reply and exceptional tips.  I am just disappointed with myself that I didn’t notice how much weight he was losing.  All I saw was his alcohol consumption going up and him being tired all the time.  

  • in reply to EmsterhubbyCT

    Hello ET

    Please don't feel this way about things. Hindsight is a wonderful tool for beating ourselves up about things we can't change. Your husband's diagnosis is not your fault and I'm sure there were many factors involved in his life style changes and the physical symptoms you've mentioned. 

    I'd really encourage you to give our nurses a call today if you can. It's been a rollercoaster week for you both and what's important now is that you both get yourselves into a good space, both mentally and physically, ahead of any further treatments. 

    We're here to support you. Be kind to yourself. 

    Best wishes, 
    Jenn
    Cancer Chat moderator 

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