Hello Beardsley

I'm sorry to hear about your brother's recent stage 4 kidney cancer diagnosis and the situation that you find yourself in. It's obviously a difficult time for you both. 

We know that people can react in many different ways after being given told they have cancer. It's not uncommon for people to be in denial about the news they have been given and sometimes this can result in their behaviour deteriorating or changing towards those people closest to them. 

You mention that your relationship with your brother has always been difficult and that at times you've had to switch off your relationship. Don't be afraid to do this again if you feel you need space for your own health and safety. His diagnosis does not give him the right to treat you in a way that risks your health so putting boundaries in place is important. 

If you think it may help you to chat things through with one of our nurses at any point you're most welcome to call them on 0808 800 4040, Monday to Friday 9am to 5pm. I know they will be happy to listen and offer any advice and support they can. You might also find it helpful to have a look at this information on our website about taking care of yourself. 

You're welcome to keep posting here on the forum Beardsley if it helps to have a safe space to put things down in writing. I know the community will do what it can to support you. 

Best wishes, 
Jenn
Cancer Chat moderator