Mum diagnosed with Breast Cancer, I will be primary carer

Hi everyone,

I new to this but I am just looking for advice.

My mum has been diagnosed with breast cancer, we get the full staging and treatment plan info next week but we know its there, with lymph node involvement in the armpit and potentially the other breast.

My mum lives alone having lost her long term partner to pancreatic cancer 4 years ago. We have not always had a positive relationship, she has always been very up and down in her behaviour and has had drug and alcohol problems. I am a mum of 5 and there have been periods of time when she has been so verbally abusive to me and my children that I have had to take a step back from it all for my mental health and for their protection. Our relationship has been better the last 4 years but I still approach this with a level of caution. She has pretty much isolated herself from everyone and has named me as her support/next of kin and has asked me to be at appointments with her which I would do anyway without being asked!

Essentially, I am nervous as I have had Cervical cancer and I know the emotional and physical toll it takes on the patient and the carer and I am worried that she won't cope and I will become her emotional punch bag again. Could anyone advise me on support available as I want to be strong for her and my family but I know that this is going to be difficult.

Thank you in advance.

  • Welcome to Cancer Chat Ab_Di although I'm sorry to hear your mum has been diagnosed with breast cancer.

    This must be a very difficult time for you both but I'm glad you've reached out to us as so many of our members have been on this journey so you are not alone and hopefully you will receive some support and insight from the community soon.

    I've been looking around online and in addition to this advice we have for carers, I hope this information I've found on Macmillan and Maggie's will prove useful as well.

    For further support and advice, I'd recommend getting in touch with Carers UK but if you'd like to discuss any of this with one of our cancer nurses you can do so on 0808 800 4040, Monday - Friday between 9a.m - 5p.m. They're very insightful and will do all they can to help you and your mum at this time.

    We're thinking of you Ab_Di and wishing you all the best with what comes next.

    Kind regards,

    Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator