Hi, his twin sister here finding support.
My dear brother went from enduring a bad case of stomach cramps and "bloating" last Autumn - to having an emergency operation in December - to getting the devastating diagnosis of metastatic bowel cancer at the turn of 2023, when we were just 38. He had no outstanding health issues before.
Post-op he was horrifyingly thin and ill, death felt too close. My heart was shattering every day with shock + grief that at the prime of our lives, we were suddenöy faced with the diagnosis of his incurable cancer and the devastating prospects that it entails. We desperately need hope.
We turned 39 together in june and it felt like a miracle. But I want more miracles. He deserves much much more time on earth, as we do with him in our lives.
The cancer was deemed inoperable due to severe polyp clusters. Today he finished his 12th session of palliative chemo in 6 months, as planned. He has been an absolute legend enduring everything with the most stoic attitude, albeit fatigued and grumpy. Some weight and strength returned. He had to give up all work but he has had many active days of enjoying himself. My love that has grown for him through this process is immeasurable. The love and kinship he shares with his dogs is everything, it's so touching.
Other than the dogs he has no immediate family here of his own - it's me and our parents who all live elsewhere that have flocked to him from abroad. The silver lining is being together. That said, it's intense and sometimes brings additional challenges at the best/worst of times. As a devoted support person, I want to be the best possible strength for my brother through this extremely challenging situation. My brother and my parents are not the people to process my own grief and fears with, that is obvious. Our dear awesome 72-year-old mother is also caring for him, and it is just so unfair that this is around the wrong way.
I do my best to stay positive and strong, and I am genuinely grateful for all the care and support that is here my brother and us, the blessings that are present even amidst the cruellest nature. But when I fall apart I think, is there anyone else going through this? It feels so unfair and too much. I've given up much of my life to be here because of course I want to be, but it is hard.
I am terrified, what will happen next? What more can be done? How can I continue to support him through this, and deal with my sadness? What should I be doing and thinking about? Is there somebody else going through this?
Sending much compassion to everyone out there affected by cancer.
George
