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Prostate Cancer and relationship struggles. Anyone else?

KattyB
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Helo 

My husband was diagnosed with prostate cancer 3 months ago. 

Op for radical robotic prostatectomy this week. 

Last night tensions were high and we had an enormous row. Things said that shouldn't have been 

I feel so bad now for losing it. We both started crying. 

Any one else felt angry and rowed I feel unusual to have a shout up about it all. 

 

  • Welcome to Cancer Chat KattyB although I'm sorry to hear about the argument you and your husband had a few nights ago.

    A cancer diagnosis can bring about a lot of thoughts and feelings, not just for the person who has been diagnosed but those closest to them as well so it's only natural that emotions will be running high at times so try not to be too hard on yourself for what happened. 

    I hope it helps to know that many of our members have experienced this too, so you are not alone and hopefully you will receive some support and advice from them soon.

    Supporting someone with cancer can be very tough but I do hope things are better now since you made this post.

    If either of you would like to talk things through with one of our cancer nurses, you can contact them on 0808 800 4040, Monday - Friday between 9a.m - 5p.m. They're very supportive and will do all they can to help.

    Kind regards,

    Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator

  • Offline

    My wife went through BC treatment, and we had rows. Though, it was mostly when she was on steroids. They'd make her angry, lol. Roid rage. Even the oncologist stated he has many couples come into the room barely on talking terms, so we got off lightly.

    Add to all of that, the stress of a cancer diagnosis, for both partners is hugely stressful. I learned to go for walks if i felt myself about to explode. But sometimes a good argument clears the stress, at least for a few days. Stuff will always be said that is hurtful, even in good times, it's how you deal with it afterwards that matters.

    I hate to break it to you, but you're, well, eh ... normal?

  • Offline in reply to ProfBaw

    Thank you for your reassurance. 

    My husband is in operation at this moment 

  • Offline in reply to KattyB

    Hi KattyB

    I'm sorry to meet you on here.  Both my husband and I have had cancer, him prostate and myself breast last year and I do still pop on here from time to time.  We've had both angles, my supporting him and him supporting me 5 years later.  It's never easy coping with a cancer diagnosis and is tough on everyone involved. You will get through it together and I wouldn't worry too much about your row, maybe it cleared the air.  Try to take things one stage at a time.
    I hope the robotic prostatectomy surgery went well.  The first week or so will be quite tough until the catheter is out and your husband has recovered a bit.  All will be well.  My husband recovered really well.  You hear all sorts of scary stories but his side affects haven't affected him or us too badly at all.  It does take time though and it's really important to focus on afterncare and exercise (particularly pelvic floor) which will all be explained to him.  Five years in my husband is back playing sport, riding his bike and working flat out.  He's had a good result post op and I'm sure your husband will as well.  Look after yourself too as everyone will be relying on you for a while.

    All the best,

    Mary

  • in reply to marywj

    thanks for the positive case study!

  • in reply to marywj

    thanks Mary. could I ask about his side effects, if any? quite understand if you'd rather not comment. thanks again

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