Hi everyone 

I really don't know what to say or where to begin but I do know I feel so sad and lost.

my mum my wonderful was diagnosed with oesophageal cancer with lymph nodes of the stomach being involved last August 2022. She had some palative radiotherapy and recently had a gastric stent fitted .

fast forward to 2 weeks ago and the cancer has spread to the brain (even though we were told 4 weeks ago by a consultant oncologist that this cancer does not spread to the brain). I  am angry that no one listened to me when I asked for a scan for her and told me it was not necessary!

my mum has gone to a strong willed , resilient and independent woman to a shadow of her formal self. Currently i am grateful that I can be around to support my mum but oh my goodness it's hard and I can't help judge everything by thinking is this the last time I do this or that for her . I am lucky to have time with her but I feel angry that my mum is slowing 'going' in front of my eyes .

i fee absolutely heartbroken and I know it's only going to get worse and I don't know how I can help myself let alone my family members .

I don't think any answers will help but just typing this down I hope will help !

lots of love

jule