Hi Mc92, 

I am really sorry to hear about your mum's diagnosis and that she is now on palliative care. I am also sorry to hear that you lost your father 5 years ago. I can't imagine how you must be feeling. People do not understand what it is like to lose a parent unless they have been through it themselves. Always remember your feelings are valid, it doesn't matter about anyone else's opinion.

I lost my mum (64) on the 17 January to bile duct cancer and I still can't believe she is gone, I miss her so much. I was close to my mum too, and I'm sure your mum appreciates everything you are doing for her. I understand your concerns with SSP payment and I do hope you can find some support with managing life. You are doing the right thing by spending as much time with your mum as possible. I hope they have given your mum morphine or an equivalent to help manage the pain. I know what you are going through and I hope my message gives you some comfort that you are not alone. 

Sarah x 

Hi Mc92, 

I'm so sorry about your mum's diagnosis, and about your dad too. I lost my dad at 18 and understand how hard it can be. You must be feeling so overwhelmed. For now the news is so raw, just let yourselves feel however you feel, maybe have a big cry, hug each other, and try to get some sleep. 

Next week see if you can speak to your mum's cancer team again and ask about support for your mum during the time ahead. She might qualify for extra benefits to get someone to help her, or even hospice care, you might be able to apply for a carers allowance. Macmillan have info on finances and benefits here www.macmillan.org.uk/.../benefits-and-financial-support

Re your work, have you let your employer know about your situation? Perhaps they can give you some compassionate time off, paid or unpaid, maybe you could use some annual leave, or maybe they could give you some lighter/different work or part-time hours for a while that might give you some more time to look after your mum, and yourself. 

Is there a friend that you can speak to about how you're feeling? Even if they don't have any shared experience or answers for you, just listening and letting you get your feelings out can be helpful. 

I hope something in here is of help at this really difficult time. Thinking of you xxx