My lovely 93 year old Dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer last week. No time limit was given but the Dr said 'it won't be years more like months'. Cancer is in his bladder, stomach and lungs. This had come totally out of the blue. Dad was seemingly very fit and healthy up to last week even going shopping for new clothes. He runs his own home, cooks, cleans, gardens. He lives with my 57 year old brother who has suffered with anxiety, nerves and depression for years. He takes anti depressant medication which he's had for years on and off.
Dad is home now and wants to carry on as normal for as long as possible. I'm determined to help him with this goal and to take him out when possible and enjoy what time we have left.
My worry is my brother, he has suicidal thoughts, he says he won't cope without Dad (they've been more like best friends). He says life is all bad with no good in it. He's not sleeping, he has no interest in anything other than constantly being on his computer. He has no friends.
Dad is not keen to have carers come in when the time comes for fear of their presence upsetting my brother. I'd prefer Dad to have some professional help alongside our care.
My emotions are totally torn between trying to enjoy the rest of my remarkable father's life and make final, happy memories to being at my wits end about my brother.
We should have contact from the Palliative care team this week but again I'm worried how mybrother will deal with their presence. I feel angry at my brother for tearing me in two but also know his depression is out of control. This should be about my Dad and its turning into worry and anger about my brother who I love dearly.
