I no this sounds selfish as some of you are living with cancer which is so so awful and I send virtual hugs to you guys.   I'm actually not the one with the illness it's my nan who raised me alot so she is very close to me. 

It's all happened to quick. Hospital December 2022 then another one and constant tests. Being pretty much her self and no issues in her health other than the usual aging we all go through. Diagnosed lung cancer end of December 2022. Strokes and edema Jan 2023 One stroke happened in my care. She then started to go down hill. Stayed in hospital and we had to move her cause her house was dangerous why she was in hospital. I live 3 hours away with 4 kids so it was exhausting physically and mentally. Spent her bday in hospital when we promised her different :( She came out Feb 2023 and got really bad edema going up the legs and started to loose Mobility. Then lots of problems happened. In this last week she has been so sick at the beginning and dizzy and out of it and in horrendous pain. Was put on morphine Friday and it helps the pain but knocks her out. She isn't the same person. Shee normally a very strong independent women so seeing her this way is so say. She lost the able to feed her self and talk and just keeps sleeping.  After my stay with her over the weekend she perked up in the afternoon. The mornings were like she was leaving us then after noon her self again. The confusion of all the emotions and taking it all in why trying to raise 4 kids on my own with no support for me is just awful. It like I am grieving as tho she has died but she hasn't. How do you get through this there must be some help xx