Hello Bonnie20 and a warm welcome to Cancer Chat, 

I am so sorry to hear about your mum in law's stage 4 cancer diagnosis. It must be really hard for you to know how to best support your husband at the moment especially if you feel like he is in denial and withdrawing in his shell a little, refusing to talk about it. Perhaps he needs a little bit of time to process it all before he can start making plans to visit her - he is probably still in shock and as you said devastated by the news and some people react precisely by not reacting as if paralysed by it all. 

I think the best thing to do is to keep being yourself and to keep being strong for him as you have done, showing him that you are there for him, that you love him and want to support him through this difficult time and that he can talk to you at any point when he feels ready to do so. I am sure he knows you are there for him and for your family - it can't be easy for you especially with having to look after a 2 months old baby too. It clearly transpires in your message how much you care and how much you love your husband and I am sure you will find the right words to help him open up when he feels ready and without any pressure. You obviously do so much for your family and I am sure you will help him get through this difficult time by simply being there for him every step of the way. 

Some of our members may have found themselves in a similar situation before and I hope that they will be along shortly to share their story with you. 

We are thinking of you, your husband and your mother in law during this difficult time.

Best wishes, 

Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator