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Telling autistic 18 year old his mum has cancer

Mrcls
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My partner has lynphnoma and starting treatment tomorrow for 4 weeks , my son has lot of anxiety issues and depression so havnt told him anything yet as I'm worried it will make him even more stressed about his own life , he was on meds but not anymore but has asked to go back on them as having horrible thought in Hos head about the evil world , I don't know what to do for the best , be honest , says it something else or say nothing , if I say nothing and she's sick from treatment then what , ? Any advise please 

  • Hello Mrcls

    I'm sorry to hear about your partner's diagnosis. I hope that her first treatment session went smoothly yesterday. 

    I think it can be difficult talking to children about a cancer diagnosis at any age. It's likely that they will be upset and have concerns about the health of the parent but I think most parents here on the forum would agree that honesty is the best policy, particularly when dealing with older children. 

    It's likely that your son will pick up on things and this can leave them feeling more upset and worrying on his own. 

    We do have some information on our website about talking to children which has good advice for talking to children of any age. 

    If your son is considering going back on medication to help manage his mental health then it's probably a good idea to bring his Dr or nurse into the loop with what's happening with his Mum as well so that they can provide any additional support that they can. 

    I hope that things go smoothly over the coming weeks and months. If you want to chat with our team of nurses at any point you're welcome to call them on 0808 800 4040, Monday to Friday 9 am to 5 pm. 

    Best wishes, 
    Jenn
    Cancer Chat moderator 

  • Offline in reply to Moderator Jenn

    Hi thank you , treatment went well no side effect yet so fingers crossed , Yh we need to tell him something as your right he must be sencing something , we was going to say it's just a blood disorder as didn't want to use the C word as I know he will start Googling it as see bad stuff , so hard to know what's best , he had his first med yesterday but was sad all night saying he will never be happy , how can I tell that sad boy his mum has cancer 

  • in reply to Mrcls

    Hi Mrcls

    I'm glad to hear that treatment yesterday went well. 

    It sounds as if you're thinking carefully about the kind of language that you'll use to tell your son about his Mum's illness and hopefully this will make things easier for him to process. And as you say, it may steer him away from searching the internet for information

    I hope that things go smoothly for all of you. Keep in touch and let us know how things go over the coming weeks. 

    Best wishes, 
    Jenn
    Cancer Chat moderator 

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