My dad has cancer

My dad has stomach cancer , the first round of chemo hasn't worked and they told him he has 6/12 months to live , they have started his on another chemo and said there's a small chance it will work ans he may get a few more years if it does , anyway he's on the second dose and it's made him really sick , we went the hospital today to ask can his scan be brought forward to see if the chemo is helping because if not he doesn't want the last two rounds , he went in the room with his wife and come back out , he got straight in the car and wouldn't talk about it , his wife said they have brought the scan forward for him in the next few weeks , she said the nurse said by looking at him he only has weeks to live without d doubt the scan , his wife has always been an exaggerater and as sad as it seems I don't believe a nurse would be able to make that comment without doing a scan ? Can somone help me , would the nurse of said this , I can't get nothing out my dad , thanks a worried daughter xx

  • Hi,

    I'm sorry that your father is unwell and that you are worried. 

    I lost my dad in November, 8 weeks after a cancer diagnosis. When we were given the news by the GP my dad asked for a timescale and based on the scan the GP said 6 to 12 months.

    My dad deteriorated rapidly after the diagnosis and during a telephone call a couple of weeks later (I was dealing with all of dad's appointments) the GP told me to prepear myself for the fact that my dad may pass away quickly. I do think that if we hadn't have asked her for a timescale we would have been given one.

    During dads illness we had input from palliative care and district nurses and no one other than the GP told us to prepear to lose dad as quickly as we did. In a way I wish they had as more information on what might happen and when would have been helpful. I felt totally unprepared. 

    I don't think doctors or nurses can tell you exactly how much time a person may have. They can give a best guess based on statistics and other factors but everyone is different. 

    Are you able to go into the appointments with your dad and his wife to ask questions? If your dad gives permission doctors and nurses will sometimes also provide updates to family members over the phone.