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Partner has cancer. Learning to cope

Cancerpatientspartner
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hi I'm 43. My partner been fighting cancer a long while now. He was coping great but over last few weeks he is breaking down. We where told today there is nothing else that can be done. They are now looking in to palliative care. I'm not sure I fully understand what that means.

To say the least im scared of losing him. I live separate from him and it hurts when im not with him. We bothe have children from relationships but none together. 

I'm not sure how long he has left but I hope it's longer than we think. He does not show his feelings much or shares how he is feeling. I feel helpless as can't do anything to help him cope. 

My heart feels like its breaking for him. We have been though a lot in the last 8 years we have been together. 

Any one have any advice im open to listern

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    Hello Cancerpatientspartner, 

    I am so sorry to hear about your partner - it must be so hard for him at the moment especially after being told they are now looking into palliative care. There is detailed information on our website on palliative care which I hope will be useful to you and if you wanted to find out more details or have any questions, don't hesitate to give our cancer nurses a call on this free number 0808 800 4040 - their line is open Monday to Friday from 9am to 5pm. 

    I completely understand why you are feeling helpless at the moment and scared of losing him and that you would like to be by his side even though circumstances don't always allow it. I am sure he realizes how much you love him and want to be there for him even though he tends to bottle things up and not share how he is feeling. Our information for Family, Friends and Caregivers highlights different ways in which you can support him at the moment as well as giving you tips to make sure you also take care of yourself. 

    It sounds like you have been through a lot together and this is yet another challenge, perhaps the hardest, but I am sure he is happy to know you are by his side supporting him during this difficult time. 

    I will now let our forum members who have been through all this before come and say hello and share their experience with you. We're thinking of you and your partner during this difficult time and I wanted you to know that we are there for you if you ever need to talk to others who understand what you are going through at the moment. 

    Best wishes, 

    Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator

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    I got bad news  just yesterday, and have been crying and terrified ever since. We have been together for thirty years and she has been diagnosed with lung cancer.  My world just ended - like that.

    BUT, wediscussed it as openly as we could. I, like your partner am not a great one for being emotional , usually. We decided that all we can do is live day by day. Many posters on here use the phrase "Live in the Moment" and I suppose that's all there is really.

    I don't lnow how much time we have left together, but all we can do is live in the moment and enjoy that time as best we can.  

    I'm new on this forum, so if my "advice" seems clumsy and useless, I apologis, because  I am terrified myself. 

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