It's currently midnight and I'm sitting in a dark room at a hospital in crisis feeling they have failed my beloved father. We had noticed something was wrong with him several months ago with dad loosing weight and went to GP. To be fair he was pretty good did all the standard tests and abnormalities were shown. We attended all the appointments until one scan showed a tumour on his pancreas. It took 3 biopsy's over several weeks but we still had no news. By which time he had severe pain in his neck. The 2nd gp sent him away with painkillers saying best wait for biopsy results. 2 weeks of Codeine and now not eating as so much pain we go back to gp and book an X-ray. Hospital advise 7 to 10 days and I say he is in great pain and I can tell he's seen something bad and he says ok 2 days I'll mark as urgent. A week passes and nothing I call GP to say no result.
Come the weekend dad is in a state and I call 999. 11 hours and ambulance arrives. He's put in a new porta cabin a&e outlet and after 3 days gets an X-ray and they pin him down in a trauma neck brace. 3 more days of not moving and we are put in various sub wards when we are finally advised he has very advanced pancreatic cancer and his neck was eaten away and also in liver, stomach and lungs. We had to tell him in a busy ward with the curtain around him. He took it on the chin and spent the next 2 days still in a amu ward. We finally get into the cancer ward for palliative care. Him and a dementia patient, broken heating so was freezing with huge single pain glass windows. It was very difficult for dad. He was a fit able body man on no medication to now not been able to move for a week so frail.
The ward has refused hospice care and we have to find a nursing home or our home so we chose the latter. Because of Xmas and new year was booked today. He was weak but looking forward to coming home for end of life. The discharge team was the only quick action we saw. They assured me an ambulance was booked to transfer him to our care at 1pm. Dad was transferred out of ward to a discharge room with lots of patients, some with severe dementia. The gentleman next to dad did not stop shouting for hours and then they advised no ambulance available. Something to do about they cancelled his care. I arrived to a frightened and scared man, begging to die as this was his 7th transfer in this hospital. He is now not able to walk or talk. Fluids withdrawn and given a sedative. How can that be acceptable treatment for a 81 year old man. Didn't drink or smoke, always kept fit and healthy. We as a family are lost, broken and feel stranded. I wonder how he will cope with the transfer tomorrow. Whether he will wake to see the lovely room we have created. Whether a district nurse will even contact us. I just feel so lost and unsupported and feel I have failed my father.
