Im 16 and today i found out my mum has two small primary tumours on her liver. I dont know what to do. I dont think its properly set in yet because when she used to smoke i constantly cried and panicked about it possibly being a threat to her health, but now she actually has cancer i feel numb. I know it's a normal reaction but it doesn't feel right. She keeps telling me its okay to cry but i really hate crying around people, im a very shy person. But i also feel so so so scared, but not? I feel the fear but its like im not registering it with the situation. Shes the best mum, and she waited till after Christmas to tell us so that Christmas would be special, but now im worried - does she think that will be our last Christmas together? I think im in denial though because i just want to avoid it all, i wont reply to the messages peopke are sending me, and i cant stand talking about it, yet im looking up peoples stories and posting on this forum so maybe im not? I dont know, its all so confusing. The worst part it the uncertainty. We dont even know how they are going to begin treatment yet, and there is absolutely no way of knowing if shes going to live out her full life or if shes not going to see me finish secondary school. I think she knows im in denial because when i try to be positive she tells me gently that it is a serious disease and everyone is talking about how we need to value our time with her etc. If there is so much uncertainty then why is everyone talking like shes about to die?? I dont know what to do this is so scary im closer with her than anyone else by far and i dont think i could physically handle her dying? What about my wedding? My first child? Going to uni? Finishing uni? My first house? I need her here for those things! Apparently because she's relatively young (in her 50's) and doesnt have underlying diseases she has a good chance but i dont know!!! Im so so scared :(