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Not sure when to ask for help!! Being a carer is very tough

dd3
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My husband of 38 years got diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer the end of June 2022 after 3 rounds of chemo and immunotherapy and with his general health declining and his confusion getting so bad he was admitted to hospital further treatment was not recommended !! He's now been at home for 6 weeks and the confusion is now quite significant, I've had visits from district nurse, continence, our GP and physio who all say I'm coping well but I'm not sure when to ask for help?  I have given up working and my days are taken up with caring for hubby I try to do nutritional meals, he's showered and on good days shaved. But I don't have any time to just to be me..... hes 75 I'm 59 and I love him so much I don't want to ask for help but I think I might have to ask at some stage but when ?

  • Hello dd3

    I'm so sorry to hear about your husband's diagnosis. Undoubtedly this is a difficult time for you both and I can hear from your post just how much you love and care for him. 

    To have been managing his care full time alone since diagnosis is an amazing feat but it's never too soon to ask for support dd3. Caring for someone is extremely physically and emotionally tiring especially when they are a loved one. It will help you both if you look after yourself and if you need help to be able to take that time out to do that then there is no shame in asking for help. I'm sure that your husband wouldn't want you to struggle and would want to make sure you were taking care of yourself as well. So please do reach out to the district nursing team or his GP and let them know that you'd like to talk about what options are available to help you care for your husband. 

    If you'd like to chat with our nurses for some support you're welcome to call them on 0808 800 4040, Monday to Friday 9 am to 5 pm. In the meantime do have a look at this information on our website which may be of use. 

    Keep in touch dd3 and let us know how you're both doing. 

    Best wishes, 
    Jenn
    Cancer Chat moderator 

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