Hi,

I'm sorry to hear of your father's diagnosis and what you are going through. I have no experience of this type of cancer but I cared for my father through his initial cancer diagnosis (throat cancer) and subsequent metestatic cancer diagnosis.

My father was (is) my best friend. Dad was diagnosed with throat cancer in 2020 and we thought he was cured. He developed back pain in April and on 15th September we found out it was metestatic cancer which was in the bones.

The GP told us she expected dad had 6 to 12 months to live, however, she had known people to live for a few years. My dad was my best friend and I immediately went into advocate / fix it mode. I still had hope and I looked at any treatment options or alternative methods that may help (my mum said I was obsessed with this). 

In my dad's case he deteriorated very quickly after diagnosis. The GP told me to prepear for the possibility that he may pass away quickly. The next week's were a rollercoaster but ultimatley my dad was not fit for treatment and it wouldn't have helped him. Nor did he want to feel more unwell than he already did. He passed away 8 weeks after diagnosis. 

The anguish I felt about wanting my dad to be here for as long as possible but also not wanting him to suffer was excruciating. 

It may be the case that doctors are able to treat your father. I think with advanced cancer there is emphasis on not wanting to cause the person any additional suffering and instead focus on quality of life and symptom control. 

I am not sure if your dad's MDT have offered any treatments or if your dad has any thoughts on if he would want treatment but these are important things to consider. 

Xx