I came upon this forum by accident, looking for answers and validity to how I am feeling right now and am so grateful to have found it. So many people expressing the very same wretched emotions. My fiance was diagnosed with bowel cancer in July  no symptoms. After major surgery he is now starting 6 months of chemo. I have been feeling so guilty because of how I was feeling. Crying for no apparent reason, although there is, angry, frustrated  helplessness  fear! Just knowing that these feelings are 'normal' in such situations really does help. Thank you all for sharing.