Scared About My Grandad

In the past few years my grandad's memory has been getting worse due to old age. He is eighty so my family didn't think anything was wrong, but a month or so ago he became confused past the ordinary. We took him to the doctors and A&E and, after a few weeks, the specialists were about 98% sure that he had stage IV glioblastoma, which apparently is one of the worst brain cancers.

My grandad decided not to have a biopsy and chose not to undergo any treatment, and so, according to all the research I can find, he probably won't live another year. I have never had another close relative die before and so I am so scared by the possibility of him getting worse and worse and then... not being, I suppose. I really wanted him to see me graduate, but since I'm only in my first year of my degree, that's not really very possible anymore.

I wish I had the ability to do something to help him but I'm currently living two years away, and even if I was closer I still don't know if I could do anything at all to make any of this better.

  • you shouldn't feel bad. Your grandad has made a decision and it looks like he is sticking to it. Try to carry on studying if the time comes when your needed I am sure he will let you know and who knows he may attend that graduation with proud sitting on his shoulder.

  • Hello Machinamori

    I'm sorry to hear about your Grandad's recent diagnosis. It's understandably a difficult time for you all at the moment and natural that you're feeling worried about what the coming months will look like for your Grandad. 

    The news that a loved one has limited time left can leave us riding a real rollercoaster of emotions and I can see from your post that you're experiencing some of the lows at the moment. 

    I'm guessing from your post that you've not long moved to university so it may be that you don't have a strong or large network of friends around you at the moment. I'd really encourage you to reach out to the student counselling service. Having someone to talk to will be invaluable over the coming months. I'd also suggest having a look at this information on our website that may be of help. 

    I'm sure that whilst you're away at university your Grandad would like to hear about how you're getting on. I don't know how often you're in touch with him but maybe a weekly letter or phone call could help you both over the coming weeks and months. Maybe you could chat with another family member and arrange a time to be able to Facetime him. Obviously, there are hurdles given that you live a few hours away but there are also ways that you can keep in touch with each other whilst he's still well enough. 

    Undoubtedly there will be some difficult times over the coming months. Please do reach out for support if you're struggling and we'll do our best to help. 

    Best wishes, 
    Jenn
    Cancer Chat moderator