I'm so sorry to hear this but please know that you are not alone in this treatment by a loved one.  Many others have said the same and been traumatised by the anger and nasty comments thrown their way, I know as I've experienced it as well, my husband died in January but we had many horrible moments like yours.  My way of tackling it was just to walk away when he started on me, it's difficult to argue with yourself.  Human nature is to defend yourself and feel very hurt and upset and obviously that's perfectly normal but you need to change the way you react to him.  If he starts on you just leave the room and when he is calmer tell him that none of this is your fault and you are doing your best.  It's not your fault he has cancer and if he needs support then he needs to be a better husband to you.  Don't be afraid to tell him he is being nasty and you're walking away, it's like a naughty child, if you don't say anything they think they've got away with it and do it again.  It's so hard but be aware you are not alone and it's not your fault.  It's a very hard road to travel for you both.  He will have scans to see how the cancer is progressing and you should be able to talk to your dedicated McMillan nurse in confidence if you are concerned about brain mets.  There are others there for you, not just him, remember that you matter as well so look after yiur health and mind too.  Take care, someone will always answer you on this forum. Carol x 

As difficult as it might be for yourself imagine its a million times worse for him ,he will be terrified and angry so is lashing out at the person closest to him ,I'm sure he will feel dreadful afterwards I can only suggest showing him as much kindness and love that you possibly can while he's still here because afterwards we may have regrests ,I doubt this is really him as you say it could be affecting his brain so I wouldn't take it personally ,just try upping the love and understanding as much as possible see if that helps ,God love him x

Hi Jenny, he made accusations to the police and I can't return home until they have finished their investigation. It's a horrific situation and I'm terrified for us all x

I did everything I could to support him even though I felt abandoned when he left for a while but now he has destroyed our family and is adamant - via friends - we are over.  It's incomprehensible, he is the love of my life and always promised to protect me and now he has destroyed our whole family and I'm broken. I'm also worried sick about him x

I'm so sorry to hear this.  It's very selfish for him to treat you that way, he is obviously making it all about him and upsetting everyone, yes he has cancer and I've been through it all for five years, it doesn't matter how much love you give if it's being thrown back in your face then it's not helping.  I don't know what the answer is but he is not being kind to anyone else.  It's a very sad situation.  We are here if you need to talk about it, don't assume it's gone to his brain, you don't know that, please take care of yourself as you will end up ill from all the worry.   Carol x 

Hi I am going through very similar with my wife. She got diagnosed with breast cancer in May aged 39, but has Totally changed since she found out, saying I havnt been there for her at all and and telling friends I've been horrible from the beginning with her. I with for myself and I have taken all the time off for appointments and trying to be there for her. Then she suddenly moved into the spare room and then the day before her 1st chemo she moved out!.. and left me and my boys., which she would never do in her right mind. No contact with me and only seen the boys for 2.5hrs in 3 weeks, after being a really close family , adamant we are finished, like she absolutely hates my giuts..., it's totally confusing for all of us just feel in limbo.  Hope things improve for you x

I can understand how you feel as I'm in shock that our wonderful, albeit blended, family has been totally destroyed for seemingly no gain at all. Thank you for replying, somehow just not being alone helps somewhat. I'm terrified for my future and just don't know how to move forward. I just want our wonderful life together back. Friends have questioned whether it's partly trying to spare me from seeing him suffer but it doesn't seem to be that x

Thank you carol x

Hi again

We has a talk last Saturday I felt it actually went quite well, she seemed to understand my reaction to the cancer news and Me dealing with it in a different way.... kinda went numb for abit but knew she would go into flight mode so I  would have to be there for our boys while she sorted head out abit. Said she wanted to be back home with the boys, but if could be out a couple of nights a week, and still in spare room.  Said OK just to get her home, came away quite positive...... then got home Friday night and she filed for divorce, and got it sent in the post dated Tuesday!! Just after we met on Saturday. But nothing surprises me at the minute, but that did he me for 6... not sure I can fight for her any more