Hello aakt197,

I'm sorry to hear about your dad and the situation you find yourself in, I can appreciate this is not easy.

Hopefully others who have encountered a similar experience will pop by soon to give you advice but until they do you might want to have a read at this page from our website which covers taking care of yourself while helping someone with cancer, while this probably won't solve your logistic problem, there you can find a few tips on how to improve your day to day whilst looking after your dad.

I hope this helps. And please remember you're not alone, we're always here to listen.

Best wishes to you and your family,

Renata, Cancer Chat Moderator

Hi aakt 197 

I'm so sorry to hear about your dad .I lost my mum to a brain lymphoma at the beginning of july.I wasn't in the same situation as you I moved my mum in with me and cared for her till the end .they gave her three months and that's how long she lived for .you shouldn't feel guilty your doing your best and everyones situation is different you have a husband and if you don't take some time to yourself you won't be any good to your dad .I'm sure your dad appreciates you being to there when you can . enjoy the time you do spend with him and don't forget the hugs you'll miss them when he's no longer here hope this helps michelle

Hi,

im not in the same but a similar situation. 
 

my mum had been given a few months to live, that's over a month ago now. My mum wishes to be at home, so me and my brother have sort of split the time between us, but he can work from home so he spends more time during the day with her. 
he nights we spend we don't get sleep. So today  I'm going back place for the day and will be at mums tomorrow, I feel

so guilty but I am also exhausted and feeling very tense. 
jist taking this time out, I feel so sad knowing what's going to come. 

my mum is in her recliner most the time and w shave to help move her from there to commode and back and that's often. We tried nappy but she doesn't like it so we don't want to force her. Everything about this is awful. Being there is tough but at same time so grateful to be in mums presence even if she is sleeping. Being away is tougher, knowing that I don't have long left with her.

can't change what is happening though. 
 

sending lots of love and it's on to take time out for yourself, although I know the guilt feelings that come with it. 
 

It is hard but you need to spend every minute you can with her with out wearing your self out .my mum didn't want to wear the nappies either have you tried the tenna pull up pants they feel a little more like normal pants .my mum was so determined to use the commode that she fell twice trying to get to it in the night.in the end I had to tell her that she would have to wee in the pull because she was too weak.but by then she wasn't eating and drinking much anymore.do you have any night carers coming in at all .I had one come from our local hospice I only had them her  once and my mum slept right through her being there but it helped me sleep more .I was caring for my mum alone so it was a big help and she had carers three times in the day too.try and get all the help you can that way you can just enjoy the time you have left with your mum.all my love to you and your family take care x

Thank you got your message.
 

My mum also so determined to use commode, so we are not pushing her to use nappies but I have got somw pull-ups which I hope she will use. 

we have a night time carer, but it's still tough. Trying my best to rest right now but when I'm away I just worry but just managed to speak to her for a minute ️

I go to her straight after work and spend my evening with her and spend half the week nights at mums. She has one great carer that she really gets on with, she is a blessing.