So sorry you are going through this and if course that your partner has to battle this horrible disease.
I had a lumpectomy back in March. Thankfully margins were clear but I can understand her anxiety and thinking about a mastectomy if the pathology isn't good news. I think it's natural to think about and plan for the worst case scenario. This can feel like you are taking control when deep down it also feels the complete opposite.
It must be horrible for you to feel that you can't help (or she won't let you) all I can suggest is that you tell her you are there for her if and when she needs you. Please don't be hard on yourself. She might be trying to protect you from all the anxiety and stress even though it seems like she is pushing you away.
Am sure you are doing all the above, give her time to come to terms with her cancer and the changes to her body. Whilst I am sure you won't feel any differently about her she may worry about her new body and try to protect herself. I know I did!
