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Grandma is at the end of her life with Pancreatic cancer.

ds92
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My grandma got diagnosed with terminal pancreatic cancer back in February.

Me and my brother saw her as normal for the next two months and then she didn't want to see anyone and totally withdrew.

 

Months went by and she has got worse and worse, the cancer has now spread everywhere and she probably has a week or few days left. We went to visit and I truly cannot get the image of her suffering and wailing out of my head, she weighs about 5 stone and is in nappies. She seems so upset and even said crying "I have had enough"

My grandad has been looking after her, but he can be a bit controlling at times and speaks about medication and stuff in front of her which I don't think she likes. The nurses are having to inject her with stuff to calm her down because she is so anxious and upset.

She can only really give short answers.

My grandad has asked me to stay over on Saturday to help out, and I just don't know how I can help her or calm her in anyway, I think its going to be quite traumatic staying over as she gets very upset and screams and cries a lot in the night, but I just want to be there for her and hold her hand.

 

I just feel so helpless. And feel like there is nothing I can do in this situation, seeing her in this much pain and so unhappy is absolutely awful.

 

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    I've just joined this forum because I have some questions about some test results - but I came across your post and wanted to reach out. 
    It's heartbreaking seeing someone you love go through such pain, I understand how much you want to help and how powerless you feel at the same time. Your wish to be there and hold her hand is so loving and thoughtful. You don't get any training to watch a love one suffer, keep talking to the nurses because they will be able to help with those injections and other medication. Sometimes just being there is all we can do. I used to read to my patients when they were distressed, just with a calm soothing voice. I wish I could give you more advice, I'm sure your Grandad is very grateful for any support, even if you stay and make him cups of tea - it's all helpful. I wish you, your Grandad and Grandma lots of love. 

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    I'm sorry to hear about your grandmother's and your family's situation.

    Please don't feel helpless. By being there and holding her hand, you are helping more than you can possibly imagine.

    Wishing your grandmother, you, and your family strength.

    Tim

     

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    Maybe she will just be happy that you are there, and you will show grandpa you care. She probably knows her situation, is in pain, and wants it to end. I don't think anything will prepare you for the finale, but you will have the feeling that you tried to help. Just my feelings. Hope they help.

  • Offline in reply to MSGoldman

    I feel for you and understand, my mum has deteriorated recently and wants god to take her as she is suffering and knowing she is not going to get Better and not long to live is TOUGH!!! I feel so sad for her, I'm really just trying to be with her, for whatever she needs. I feel so helpless at times. 
    today I've got back from my mums for a bit of rest but all I want to do it go back to her. I know I should have a tiny bit of time out too. 
     

    sending lots of love to you, this is the most difficult thing to see and go through. 

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