Hi, 

My dad was diagnosed with advanced prostate cancer in August 2021. He’s tried a few treatments now, but hasn’t been responding well. 

His consultant says we’re looking at a few months to a year absolute max. I’ve already begun trying to process what’s happening, but my stepmum is struggling to do the same. 

She seems to be in denial about what’s happening. He doesn’t have an appetite and she’ll tell him the reason he’s feeling bad is because he’s not eating, not because of the cancer. She’s still got him doing jobs around the house and gets frustrated when he needs to spend time in bed resting. She also keeps telling me he needs therapy because he bottles everything up, but he talks very openly with my brother and I. 

He’s currently in hospital after a really bad turn and she hasn’t been to visit him since he was admitted 72 hours ago. 

Dad is leaning heavily on my brother and I for support, but I worry about what it’ll be like at home once he’s discharged. We’re grown and don’t live with him anymore. 

I also worry that my stepmum will look back once he’s gone and wish she’d handled the situation differently. Our relationship has always been a little tricky, but has come on hugely in recent years. 

How can I speak to her without her feeling as though I’m telling her off? I just want to get through to her for her sake and the sake of my three half sisters (11, 20 and 23). 

Any help is very very much appreciated! Thank you :)