Hi everyone, I've never really posted on a forum before but was just hoping to reach out to people who are very unfortunately in a similar position...

My 58 year old mum had has stage 4 metastatic breast cancer. Today she was due to have gamma knife on her brain mets but they found the tumours had grown in just 3 weeks since finishing chemo and spread to the lining of her brain so they were unable to complete the treatment. It's now the weekend so we will have to wait until Monday at least for a new, if any, plan.

I've been reading some journals today and to be honest the prognosis is not looking good. 

My question is, how do I even start to deal with this pain? How do I prepare for the inevitable? I need to be strong to look after her and my sister but I'm feeling like my heart is being ripped out. She is the closest person in the whole wide world to me and it honestly takes my breath away to even think about life without her. My little boy is 3 and is so close to my mum, I'm so scared he won't remember her. We have lost my dad, gran and uncle in recent and I know that with time, things will hopefully feel better but at this moment in time, I just honestly don't know what to do.

Any advice would be so welcome, many thanks in advance.