Hello, and first of all may I say how sorry I am that your Dad is dying. And yes, I have to say that when my Mum died, I felt angry at all of the so-called 'bereaved' people that suddenly turned up.  One in particular was my mum's older sister, who I was told kept breaking down and sobbing, and yet the truth is, she had been cruel and vindictive to my mum her whole life, to the extent that 7 years before she died, my mum ceased all contact with this sister, who was now telling everyone how 'heart-broken' she was that her 'baby sister' had died.  It truly sickened and angered me.   I was still living at home with my mum when she became ill with terminal cancer (I was quite young when she died) and I became her main carer.  I have 2 older sisters that did as little as possible to help me to care for our Mother.  I must admit that for quite a few years afterwards, I felt hostile towards them.  However,  I have now forgiven all of these people, because I eventually realised that by holding on to my anger and esentment, I was not allowing myself to heal, and these negative feelings were hurting me more than those hypocrites who were now 'grieving' for my mother when in reality they had not lifted a finger to help her when she needed it the most.  I eventually found peace within myself, and so will you.  I can look myself in the mirror and know that I did everything I could for my dying Mother, just as I am sure you have done for your Father.  Take care mate, and once again, so sorry for what you are going through, Violet, x

Hiya.  I didn't say nothing to them at the time, but a few years later my Mum's 'loving' sister died and I refused to attend her funeral.  Her daughter (my cousin) rang me and demanded to know why I had not gone to my Aunt's funeral and I told her the truth:  That I am not a two-faced hypocrite, and that her Mother had done some truly evil things to her sister (my Mother) and for that reason, I did not attend the funeral and didn't send flowers.  I told my cousin that to sit through a funeral service for a woman who had treated my Mother with such contempt would be an act of treachery on my part.   This resulted in a rift between me and my cousins which has never been healed to this day, but I have no regrets...........I simply spoke the truth, nothing more, nothing less.  At a later date I also told my sisters that they had fallen very short during our Mother's illness and final days, and to be honest, this has also never completely healed my relationship with my siblings, but then again, I never had a great relationship with them anyway.  I think that a lot of folks would probably tell you to remain 'quiet and dignified' but for me personally, I felt a great deal of relief in letting these hypocrites know exactly how I felt............I am certainly not encouraging you to let them 'have it'.........I am just saying that I needed to let these people know how I felt and it gave me a lot of satisfaction.  Take care, Violet, x

Hi!

Im so sorry about your dad.

I'm in the exact same position with my mum! My mum currently has days left to live and there's been a few 'friends' asking to visit now she is dying, however these never saw her when she was healthy! 
I completely understand your frustration. 
I ended up writing a public post on Facebook kindly asking for people to stop asking to visit her as it is crutial for immediate family to be there at a time like this, also we wouldn't not want anyone to see her the way she is also. 

sending you so much love and thoughts x