Any advice on handling awkward conversations about cancer?

My mother has breast cancer, I live at home with my parents. I want to know how to handle awkward cancer conversations, for example when the person experiences a symptom that you cannot help with or starts crying when you don't expect it etc. I know it probably sounds silly but it's so hard to know how to be supportive sometimes because I have no advice, I can try and reassure her but it doesn't seem to help what's so ever. I feel so powerless, I just want to take away her suffering.

  • Sorry to hear you are going through that. I think the main thing is just to listen. It's not the same, probably, but when I had thyroid cancer, one of the best responses I got was when the head of my department at work just asked how she could support me.

  • Listening. We don't need to have all the answers all the time, but people do need to get their emotions out or to air their views/fears.

  • I can't comment for your mum but my mum has looked after me for the last three years and she's been amazing. If I was in a lot of pain, she knew that I would want my medication brought to me, would run me a bath which would help, and if it got too much get in touch with my nurses. If I just started crying or wanted to vent she would listen. I had friends who would struggle to know what to say to me but really I just wanted a hug and for someone to listen. She would also make me a cup of tea after. I didn't like having my mum help me when I had accidents but she would make it out like it wasn't a big deal. What your feeling if completely understandable, it is an awful position to be put in. If it was me, I would get to know what medication your mother is on incase more can be given, what other things can give relief for your mum, for me it was heat so my mum would run me a bath without asking or get me my heat pads, she also knew who to contact for advice which probably saved me several trips to A&E or at least could get me fast tracked. I don't know your mum as a person, but you will know if she is the kind of person who would want to talk about it or change the subject to something else. You'll find your routine, sorry for the long paragraph but I hoped this helped x

  • That's really good advice, I'll deffo try to find out some more so I can be of more help. Good luck with your remission by the way! :)