Pregnant and partner having chemo therapy.

Hi, this is a very sad situation for me and I am very much confused as what to do. My partner is having chemo therapy after having most of his right lung taken away due to lung cancer. It's been a rough year! We had a mad moment, before he started chemo we thought of trying to get pregnant before hand and we did try once, before I bottled it and ran to the chemist to get the morning after pill, which did not work. I am currently 8 weeks pregnant. I am shattered, depressed and my partner is so sick after having chemo intreveniously and then the pills, he has three more treatments like this. We have two children already one 7 and one 3. It would make it easier if I knew he would change his habbits but he is smoking again and I fear the same will happen in the next 5 years as he is very much adddicted to marijuana. I feel like running away from my body and I dont think I can cope with someone else to look after along with him and the two children I already have with him. 

  • Hi, it sounds like a truly sad situation. I do not know your full story, but two things stood there. The first one, living with someone with an addiction is very challenging especially if he does not want to change.(and it sounds like your partner is not ready for the change). The second one, it  sounds  like you do not have a lot of support, which must be very stressful.Please look after yourself and your  children as a priority and seek some support/ counselling.There is a light at the end of the tunel. Take good care.

  • Hello Zoedaisy, 

    I just wanted to welcome you to our forum where you will meet I am sure supportive people who will be along to share their experiences with you and give you some suggestions based on their personal stories.

    What a tough situation for you and I can understand why you are feeling so confused at the moment as there is so much at stake. It sounds like it would do you some good to talk to someone about this. Perhaps you could start by making an appointment with your GP and explain what happened and how you are feeling at the moment, that you are not sure what to do and would appreciate some guidance. Your GP might be able to advise you or suggest you speak to a counsellor. I certainly think you need to talk to a medical expert about how you are feeling, that you are shattered and depressed and juggling so many things at the moment including having to look after two very young children.

    Your partner is going through a lot as well having chemotherapy treatment and feeling sick at the moment. You mentioned his addiction to marijuana and this is something he certainly needs to seek help for. Talking to a GP about this is also a good place to start as they will be able to offer the best possible guidance and take into account your partner's current medical situation, in particular the fact that he is going through chemotherapy at the moment. It takes some courage sometimes to seek help and get in touch with your doctor but I think that in your current situation it would be a good idea to talk to an expert about your options, both for yourself and for your partner.

    I hope that you get some good guidance from your GP on this. Our nurses are also a free phone call away if you'd like to talk things through with them. You can call them on 0808 800 4040 and their line is open Monday to Friday from 9am to 5pm.  

    I hope that you manage to get a little rest sometimes so you can think a bit more clearly without being pulled in so many directions.

    We're all here for you anytime you want to talk to others who can relate to what you are currently going through.

    Best wishes, 

    Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator