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My beautiful mum

Emi-ann
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My beautiful mum was diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer 8 weeks ago. The deterioration has been unbearable to watch. I gave up my job to care for mum at home, I'm very lucky my partner has a well paid job and he has been so so supportive. However, when mum first got diagnosed she was adamant she wanted to spend her final days in the local Hospice, now with the help of some amazing district nurses I have managed to fulfill this wish. Howeve, it absolutely kills me to leave her there daily, I walk out wondering if it's the last time I'm going to see her. I must mention I have 2 beautiful boys at home and am currently 32 weeks pregnant, so the rest is definitely needed. 
but my question is this, does this feeling of guilt and anxiety ever leave? I literally cry myself to sleep at night. 
And I honestly feel drained  emotionally. Have I done the right thing?

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    Hi Emi-Ann,

    I am sorry to hear about your curent situation and about your mum. From how it sounds to me, mum wants to be in the hospice and maybe you think it's your role and that you're letting her down but mum knows you're pregnant and she thinks she is trying to help. I suppose talking to her about how you feel and just spending as much time as you can with her is what's needed. When my mum was diagnosed and later on when she was near to end-of-life - I would speak to my mum on a daily basis on Skype because I am in China and she always maintained that I had to live my life here, I am coming back now but she left us just under a month ago - I wish I was there when she finally passed away and it will always be a regret of mine that I wasn't but my mum made it very clear what her wishes for me were and I had to listen to what she was telling me. Have you done the right thing? I would say so but maybe talk to your mum some more and listen to what she has to say even if you think it might clash with what your role should be. I hope that helps and take care and congratulations on the third addition to the family. Mum will be proud of this! 

     

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    Hi Emi-Ann,

    I am sorry to hear about your curent situation and about your mum. From how it sounds to me, mum wants to be in the hospice and maybe you think it's your role and that you're letting her down but mum knows you're pregnant and she thinks she is trying to help. I suppose talking to her about how you feel and just spending as much time as you can with her is what's needed. When my mum was diagnosed and later on when she was near to end-of-life - I would speak to my mum on a daily basis on Skype because I am in China and she always maintained that I had to live my life here, I am coming back now but she left us just under a month ago - I wish I was there when she finally passed away and it will always be a regret of mine that I wasn't but my mum made it very clear what her wishes for me were and I had to listen to what she was telling me. Have you done the right thing? I would say so but maybe talk to your mum some more and listen to what she has to say even if you think it might clash with what your role should be. I hope that helps and take care and congratulations on the third addition to the family. Mum will be proud of this! 

     

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