My sister, who is the closest person in the world to me, has cancer thst has returned, Somewhere else but we don't know if it's entirely different or the cells have spread. First time around, I always believed she'd be fine. This time I'm terrified. You read 'five year' survival rates, like that's supposed to be good. We've both still got kids. I can't get my head around what's happening. I literally cannot separate myself from her being part of me. Sometimes I can't feel anything and sometimes I'm consumed. Mostly I feel she's so grown up compared to me. I'm older than her. I keep things light and try to focus on stuff she likes but I can't make it better or go away. We only lost our mum 18 months ago. She's incredible. Doing everything to keep ok for her kids. I'm in awe of her. I would normally always speak to her about everything but I can't. I'm so lost. But that makes me feel selfish. It's her going through this, not me.
