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Mum has secondary bone cancer

ammiee94
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Hi, 

almost a year ago my mum was diagnosed with agressive bone cancer and secondary bone cancer which is incurable. She has a round of chemotherapy and since that finished has been have some other treatment. 
 

I basically feel like I've put my life on hold to move back home, and since her diagnosis we know nothing else. Like it's been a year and we know no more that when she first found out, I feel like I can't make plans or know how long she has left. I'm getting more and more depressed about the whole situation and having to live with my parents. I feel like I want to continue with my life but feel incredibly guilty about it so haven't spoke to my parents about how I've been feeling. I'm really not sure what to do and even though I have close friends to talk to no one really understands what I'm going through, even at work no one knows and now I feel like it's not something I can bring up in conversation. I also not want the constant "How's your mum doing?" Messages. 
 

Basically anyone else gone/going through something similar? 

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    Hi Aimee sorry to hear about your mums diagnosis , my mum has the same condition and is on her third round of chemo which they say is not a cure only to give a better quality of life , my mum was given a contact number of a person at the hospital that she or any of her family can call for a chat like a liaison helper ( sorry I don't know her proper title) 

    if you call your mums hospital ?or ask your mum if she has been given a number of someone to chat with just about her condition and basically to give you a clearer picture it may be easier on you to be able to chat everything is confidential ,

    my mum told me they haven't said how long she has and she doesn't want to know either but her chemo has gone well so in between those  times she seems more active 

    I hope u manage to find out who your mums assigned person is they are all really kind and very understanding 

    let me know how you get on 

    bea 

  • Offline in reply to Bea52

    I think her chemo finished around June and she had some more scans in September to see how the cancer was spreading but she didn't hear anything from those scans so she keeps going to treatment(I'm not sure what it is but not chemo) 

    I just don't know if it's normal to hear no updates at all, I know it was mentioned to her about having a mastectomy but since it's never been mentioned again. 
     

    I'm not sure if she calls and asks she can find something out but whenever I try to ask her she says she'll be on hold for ages and no one will tell her anything. So she doesn't try to call and then the nurses don't know anything either. 

  • Offline in reply to ammiee94

    That sounds so frustrating no wonder your worried and concerned , I'm not sure if it's normal I do know that it took 10 months for my mum to get seen she had lost around 5 1/2 stone in the year of 2020 and still couldn't get seen I'm sure the pandemic has affected many cancer patients but to me information on progress is a necessity 

    if it was me and I wasn't getting any info from the hospital I would go right back to basics and ask her gp to try and get the information maybe if she has a FaceTime appoinment you can be there too ? Before calling I'd recommend writing a list of your concerns and unanswered questions , it doesn't sound right that no one is keeping you informed at all , it's worrying enough without unanswered questions 

    I will ask my mum if the lady we call has a specific job title, I'm afraid I only know her by her actual name but I'm sure at the very least there should be someone that you can call and talk too , I'm sure if you look about this site there's probably someone you can call too but I understand it would be better if you can chat about what is specifically happening with your mum , the gp has all records of treatment and due treatment so if the mastectomy isn't on there I'd ask why it was discussed and then nothing done , you could also ask them for a number of someone you can call at the hospital 

    I'm not an expert on these things it's just the route I'd take if it were me I really hope you get some answers Aimee  it's hard enough without worrying over wether anything is being done  good luck  

     

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