Hello Cazzie21, 

I am so sorry to hear about your dad's bowel cancer diagnosis. It must have been a shock to find this out last Thursday especially as he already has all these other health issues. I hope that there will be a treatment plan for him and that you meet the team soon to discuss his current options. 

I hope that you will hear from other carers here on the forum and that they will share their experience with you. It can be so hard as a carer not to think about cancer all the time and for it to be always present in the back of your mind. I think the news is still very raw for you and with time you will probably learn to focus on other things. Try if you can to take a moment to breathe for yourself with a good book maybe or something you enjoy doing just to take your mind off the constant worry. Sleep deprivation probably doesn't help either and if you see that you are still struggling to get a decent night's sleep, talk to your GP about it as I am sure they will be able to help. Taking each day as it comes seems to be what your dad wants at the moment and perhaps this is something you can try for him, taking him to his hair cut one day if that's what makes him happy and enjoying every precious moment you spend with him. Living in the moment is very difficult in a situation like this though and it's normal to feel that you can't stop thinking about his diagnosis and what's to come but for the time being as you are waiting to find out more about the treatment plan, perhaps the best thing to do is simply to be there for him and you seem to be an incredible support for him. 

There is a section on our website for family, friends and caregivers which I hope will be useful to you. You will find that it is important while dealing with all this not to forget to take care of yourself as this will give you the strength you need to look after him in the best possible way. 

I will now let our members come and say hello and share their story with you. I am thinking of you and your dad during this difficult time. Keep us updated if you get a moment on what you find out after you've spoken to his team. 

Best wishes, 

Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator

Thanks Lucie son much for you reply, Dad had his CT scan today Friday 11feb, now it's the wait. I feel he is doing better than me, he won't talk about it , at all, won't mention it. It's really only him and me, family came round the other day and he mentioned he had an iron transfusion - but that won't make him better, - he won't even talk about that with me. I'm there everyday, 3 times may be more. I am just totally numb, I am signed off work as I couldn't cope. Thanks I will look at the other forums you mentioned . I guess - no one's knows how to deal with these situations when it's your own situation. Thanks and appreciate your reply .