I'm really sorry to hear about your mothers diagnosis and your anxiety over the negative responses from the Consultant.
I have breast cancer myself and so cannot provide any insight into your mothers cancer, I'm afraid. However, I have come across numerous consultants who have been quite off-hand in various ways. Some of them just don't have a good bedside manner and this can be very difficult for patients. They are all excellent surgeons though and in all walks of life there are people lacking in people skills. I have found that quite difficult myself and so to prepare for it, I intend to always take a note of specific questions that I want answering so that I come away feeling a little better about what I know. Having said that there are also consultants with amazing people skills.
Try to detach yourself a bit from the persona and focus on what outcomes you want from the appointments, it will hopefully not feel so harsh and negative to you then.
