My partner was diagnosed with MDS several months ago and the journey has been rough but we always tried to stay positive and remain a team.  

Since meeting his consultant things have really gone downhill. He wasn't a particularly nice doctor and very blunt and it's been extremely hard to take in.

As such my partner has basically stopped reaching out to me, cut off alot of his friends....not wanting to talk and shutting himself away. It's always been one of his coping mechanisms but it all came to a head yesterday as it's sent us both into a massive depression and I burst into tears and told him I couldn't cope with his coldness towards me anymore and maybe we needed to go back to being friends to take the pressure off both of us. 

The things is, it not really what I want but it's proving impossible to carry on being in a relationship with someone who keeps pushing me away and doesn't show any kind of care. 

I understand this is a thing that many patients do and I've tried to look after him in other ways over the last few months.....cooking him healthy meals, getting him shopping, running errands for him, organising lifts to the hospital, keeping track of his medical stuff and doing his UC and PIP forms. I'm not sure how he'll cope on his own but he just doesn't want me around. 

I'm heartbroken and my mental health is suffering so badly. I'm constantly in tears that this horrible illness has effectively torn us apart and I'm hurt by his reaction even though it's completely understandable. 

Any suggestions on ways I can get myself in a better headspace so I can at least be there for him if he decides to reach out later down the line? I feel so lost