End of life experiences

Hi I’m new to this forum but would love to get some of your views on my current situation, my 85 year old mum was diagnosed with lung cancer 18 months ago and did not want any operation or treatment, the tumour was small, she got X-ray done in September 2021 to see how the tumour was progressing, it had doubled in size, the consultant said it was hard to tell how long she’d have it could be 6 months or a year. So at Christmas time my mum became sick vomiting and had adominal  pain, she couldn’t keep anything down, on New Year’s Eve she went to A&E and with covid they would not let me in or tell me anything other than she had a small blockage in the bowel and was gave an enema. She got home and continued to be sick and pain. Doctors came out a few times and eventually gave her morphine MST 10mg tablets every 12 hours and Oramorph in between and sickness tablets. Palliative care nurse and district nurse have been out also and the district nurse has left all ready for syringe driver when she needs it.  The doctor told me she may only have 1 month left to live and was declining and was to ill to go for more detailed tests. That was 2 weeks ago and since been on this medication the sickness and pain has stopped, each day she is improving and now up and dressed and has more of an appetite but still not eating an awful lot and would still sleep a good bit but she’s back to nearly her normal self. I rang the doctor to tell them mum is so much better how can she have little time left, he said this can be normal and she could dip down quickly. I just don’t understand as to me she’s improving every day not declining. Did anyone have similar experiences with a loved one

  • Hi Newlywed99,

    Welcome to Cancer Chat. I'm sorry to hear of the situation with your mum - I can only imagine how incredibly difficult this must be, and I can understand that the recent improvement in her behaviour must also be a little confusing.

    Hopefully you'll soon receive replies from others on the forum, particularly if others have similar experience to share. It may also help to have a browse or search of the forum to find any other potentially relevant discussions.

    If you feel you'd like to talk things through, please give our nurses a call on freephone 0808 800 4040 (Monday-Friday, 9-5). It may be helpful to get their thoughts on this.

    In the meantime take care of yourself, and we're always here for support if you need it.

    Wishing you all the best,

    Ben
    Cancer Chat Moderator

  • I'm so sorry to hear about your beloved Mum, I also lost my Mom to lung cancer and I remember 

    her being well then dipping, a little bit like the calm before the storm.

    Enjoy the precious time with your mum, love and hug her as much as you can xx 

    sending my love and thoughts to you, your mum and family xxx 

  • Im sorry about the diagnosys of your mom. For some unknown reason some people get better before they get worse, its like they are given extra time to say goodby to their loved ones. I had similar experience with my friend; she was in hospital for weeks and she just got worse and worse. They even stopped her radio as she was close to the end and they just wanted to make her comfortable. She was sleeping most of the day. They told us to get prepared that she might pass away that day, but a few days later she woke up with so much energy (compared to how she was before). She was able to text, make phone calls and complaining about the hospital stuff (which in her case meant that she was more than good). I think she was fine for 2 weeks or so and her condition has worsen even quicker than before. She has passed away a few days after her condition stareted to worsen again. Sorry for being blunt, just dont want to give you false hopes

    Make sure you spend as much time as you possibly can with your mom. Tell her how much you love her and hug her as many times as you can. If she can walk, go for a walk with her. I would even take emergency holidays from work if you can just so you can spend more time with her.

    I hope her awakening lasts longer