Looking after my mum after a total laryngectomy and tough re

First time on a group chat but feel its the best way to get some advice from people in a similar situation. I'm 29 and a full time carer for my mum, last week we had the bad news that the cancer has returned and radiotherapy is not an option, we can either have 4 shots of radiotherapy in hope to shrink the cancer a small amount to give my mum a few extra months or a total laryngectomy ( removal of the voice box) and removed the toung, this would mean no eating or drinking or talking again. The thought of this terrified my mum and she choose the end of life care ( radiotherapy) 

After talking to family she called the hospital back up and changed her mind and to go for the op. I can tell my mum is not happy with the quality of life after...she is and has always been a very sociable person, is rarely at home and always out and about, she likes the pub and talking to her friends, I don't want my mum to suffer anymore than she already has and I don't want her to do this for us and just feel so much guilt. 

There is a big chance this op won't work and she could potentially spend her last days in pain and not being able to talk to us.  Is there anyone who has had or no someone who has had this op and what quality of life they do have after?  

  • Hello Lou

    I'm sorry to hear about your Mum's diagnosis and the difficult choices that she faces about potential treatment options. It's understandable that you want to make sure she makes the best choice for her personal circumstances. 

    We do have some information on our website that may be of help but I've had a look through the forum and I can see that [@Kasvin]‍ has posted about life after a laryngectomy. Hopefully, as I've tagged them into this reply they may post to share some of their experiences with you. You might also want to use the forum search function to have a look through some of the posts where laryngectomy is mentioned. 

    I'd also suggest giving our team of nurses a call to chat through your concerns with them. I'm sure they will be happy to offer any advice and information that they can that may help your Mum. They're available Monday to Friday 9 am to 5 pm on 0808 800 4040. 

    Whatever decisions your Mum makes about her treatment, I wish you all well. 

    Jenn
    Cancer Chat moderator