Hello, 

Just hoping for some reassurance/feeling that I am not alone! 

My dad has glioblastoma, diagnosed last April, now on a rapid decline. He has been cared for at home, with drop in carers, plus my mum but now cannot get out of bed without falling over. They have told him to stay in bed and he is apparently getting really agitated about it. I saw him last week and he was okay, if a bit out of it, but able to (somewhat wobbly) get himself to the loo and back. 

Now he's got a UTI and so he's going into hospice later this week, while he is on anitbiotics, as he needs 24/7 care. I am worried I am being really useless. I have offered to stay over at the flat, so he does't need to go to the hospice but my mum says he needs someone to stay up all night and keep him in bed and take him to the loo and I am not sure if I can manage. I need to work 4 days a week (although remotely). I worry I am just scared about seeing him in too much of a state and it getting stuck in my brain forever. 

My mum has asked me or my step brother to watch my dad for two days before he goes in the hospice, so she can go out for a few hours. I have done this many times before, but now he needs help to wee in a bottle, which he can't see himself so needs help with, and needs to effectively be told to stay in bed., which makes him really angry. I am 32 and his daughter, my brother is 43 and his stepson. I know it is my responsibility to do it but I am so scared and nervous. I've told my mum I'll just check my work and text her this afternoon to confirm. I live 30 mins away in a flat on my own, so I can get there fairly easily. I don't really talk to my step brother or step sister as they are so much older and we didn't grow up together, so I have no one to rely on or discuss it with. My boyfriend lives two hours away and comes at weekends. 

I don't really know what I am hoping for but I am just sitting at my desk really upset and just needed to write somewhere. 

Thanks in advance x