Hi Jo,

This is the first time I've posted on here, so I'm afraid I won't be much help.

I'm really sorry to hear about your dad. Don't feel silly for posting. These things are massive and they create a real state in your brain! I've forgotten where I live, put keys in the fridge - all the good stuff.

I just wanted to say that I really related to your post, so I don't want you to feel like you're all on your own. I ended up in a similar predicament myself. My dad is still with us, but received his terminal diagnosis last spring. I was living and working abroad so decided to quit and return home to find a new flat/get a job near him.

I am not sure what flexibility your employers will be able to offer but hopefully they have a half decent HR department who can give you a little bit of slack. In the end, I reduced and compressed my hours so I could help my parents on Fridays. It's a cut in pay but, for me at the moment, it's worth it for the feeling that I'm 'doing something'.

That said, I think I'm starting to realise it's important to take the sense of guilt with a pinch of salt. We will always feel guilt, both now and once they are gone. There is always more we 'could have done' and that guilt sometimes feels insatiable.

But that doesn't mean it's right. Be kind to yourself and perhaps see if there is a way you can see a bit more of your dad, while also keeping your own sense of normality. 

Thinking of you and take care xxx