Mum possible breast cancer

Hi guys, hoping i can get some advice as im going crazy here! It has recently come to light (by accident) that my mum has a lump in her breast and has had for the last 5 years!!! She has not sought any diagnosis, advice or treatment and during this 5 year period the affected breast has shrunk and the skin over the lump is now inflamed, open and very painful. Shes concealed it and been treating the open wound herself. She refuses to seek any help whatsoever. She is very reluctant to speak with us about it and says we should respect her wishes not to be messed with. She is taking multiple pain killers (codeine, para ,brufen, she qlso takes pregabalin for longstanding back pain)  to help but still suffering. She shrugs off any advice to ask her gp for any additional pain relief.  The chances of it being cancer related are high I know, but on the other hand we cant say for sure as she wont go checked out! Its a nightmare living in limbo and must be hell for her too! Its like hell for my siblings and I to watch her suffering but not wanting to help herself. She says at this moment everything is 50/50 wether it is cancerous or not however if she found out for definate it would be 100% and she couldn't cope with that...  what can we do!!! Can u guys offer any advice??? 

 

  • Hello and thanks for posting

    I am sorry to her about your mum and her reluctance to get the area on her breast checked out and treated. This must be very worrying time for you and the rest of the family and I can understand you wanting some advice about what to do.

    Unfortunately it is a difficult situation to be in as the decision is up to her if she sees her doctor or not. Her wishes need to be respected but at the same time it is important that you try and sit down and share your worries about how concerned you are about her.

    As you say no one on here can say for sure what this is but it doesn't sound very good. For everyone's sake it would be wise for your mum to get this looked at sooner rather than later before things get any worse so do try and encourage her to seek out medical advice. It sounds like she needs to have the pain medication reviewed and also to make sure the wound is being dressed properly.

    Without your mum's consent there is little you can really do however you could think about raising a concern with her GP. Although they won't be able to discuss any other information about her with you they may be able to try and contact her to see if she opens up about what is going on.

    It must be tough to see your mum like this and only now find out about this. People are so different and deal with things using various different coping mechanisms to get through, especially when these are so different from what your own would be.

    Please get back if you need to or you are welcome to call our helpline on 0808 800 4040, Monday-Friday 9-5.

    I really hope your mum agrees to see someone soon and gets the help she needs.

    Take care

    Naomi