Hi and thanks for posting

I'm so sorry to hear about your family's situation - it's not easy I imagine.

If you're not able to speak with your ex husband, there isn't anyone who will be able to discuss his situation with you - that is a nurse or doctor, due to confidentiality. I don't know whether you are able to write to him, saying you would rather him not promise the children things about the future that he may not be able to keep, if this is what you are worried about. But it's a difficult thing to do, as your ex may be still trying to get his head round what this all means for him and may well be telling himself that all will be well. It may take a little time to process this information himself and he may well know what the real situation actually means, but doesn't want it out in the open.

What he has told your son about what is happening to him about his current situation regarding treatment sounds honest, although it's difficult talking about the future when a cancer has spread, as it's about keeping things at bay rather than getting rid of the cancer completely .

No one can really know what lies ahead regarding response to treatment and how well someone may do with a change to their treatment. Doctors won't always talk about a prognosis as everyone is so different. Sometimes a different treatment can stabilise their condition and the cancer may be kept at bay for a good number of months and sometimes years - though this won't apply to everyone and may not happen at all.

A lot may really depend on how old your children are and how much they have been told about how ill their dad actually is. Different age groups will be able to take on different information, but even children who are quite young can understand and eventually see if their dad is very ill . I wonder whether you have tried talking to the children to see what they understand about their dad's health.

Without knowing how old they are it's difficult , but there's some information here about talking to children when someone in the family has cancer 

Although this next link may well not be appropriate yet, as it talks about having a conversation with children when someone is dying, and it certainly doesn't sound like the current circumstances suggest that this is what's happening, it may be helpful to read for the future or whenever you think it may be helpful   

It's sometimes easier talking about this over the phone, so please do give us a ring if you would like to talk things through with one of the nurses here on the helpline - the number to call is Freephone 0808 800 4040 and the lines are open from 9am till 5pm Monday to Friday.

I hope you have some support for yourself over this time

All the very best to you all

Wanda

Thanks for your response, maybe I should call the number. I'm just stressed at not knowing anything and being able to support the children when they hear things from him. (Kids are 13, 12, 10 and 9). 
my 12 year old boy literally just told me that his Dads new doctor has promised him 10 years survival, which I find hard to believe. The tumour in his liver is the size of a ping pong ball, think he has smaller ones all over too. Just don't know what to tell them.