hello it’s a year November the 11th since my sole mate died married 44years knew each other 47years how do you cope with first memory I’m dreading it lv annie x
I can understand that the first anniversary will not be easy.
It is a very individual thing how everyone wants to mark an anniversary particularly the first one. You may want to visit the grave or final resting place. You may want to keep busy on that day to take your mind off it all. Have a think about how you want to spend the day which may make the anniversary slightly easier to cope with.
You may find it easier to bear, to try and spend the anniversary day with a close friend or member of your family so you don't feel so alone.
The charity Cruse has some helpful suggestions about coping with anniversaries which you might find helpful to look at here
Grieving is a very individual thing and everyone copes with it in different ways. We have some information on our website about coping with grief which you can see here
I am not sure whether you have had a chance to share how you feel with your GP. I know with the pandemic in some cases it has been difficult to get an appointment. If you are not finding things easy do try and make an appointment. Sometimes a course of bereavement counselling can be useful to help give you some coping strategies. This can be organised through your GP.
You have posted in ask the nurses but if you post in another section you may be able to chat to others who have been through a loss as well.
I finally want to say how very special to hear that you were married for such a long time. I am sure that you have many very happy memories and photographs of your years together.
I do hope that the 11th of November goes well.
If you feel that it would be helpful to talk any of this through with one of the nurses on the helpline you are so welcome to give us a call. The number to call is Freephone 0808 800 4040 and the lines are open from 9am till 5pm Monday to Friday.
