Mood changes

Hello, first time poster here, I have a bit of a sticky situation.

6 yrs ago, my dad was diagnosed with myeloma (blood cancer) he's been in remission for a long time now a good 5 years. I currently live with my mum & dad & seen the effect my dad's moods swings are having on my mum, he can get very angry at a flip of a switch (nothing violent) but when he is angry thats it he's gone, theres no talking to him, we have to walk on eggshells around him, watch what we do ect.

I worry about my mum alot & for the first time the other day she told me on the sly that she cant cope with it any more. Thats the first time Ive seen it get to her. 

Now, my problem is 1, he goes to his check ups alone (as I work & mum babysits) & 2, Im only temporary living with them whilst me & my fiance look for our first home. So I hold no power. So im a bit stuck

Hes on Lenalidomide for remission Gabapentin for his feet (neuropathy) & Allopurinol for his gout. Do any of these have that effec? And is there something I can do, they love each other very much but these mood swings are getting to much for my mum.

Sorry for the long one.

  • Hi there Luckyliverlaura and thanks for the post

    I am sorry to hear about your dad and his mood changes that are affecting your family.

    This is clearly a difficult time for you all and trying to navigate something like this is never easy. Unfortunately there are no clear cut paths to resolving this as there could be several causes for the change you have noticed in your dad.

    Firstly, if you haven't already, I would suggest trying to find a time to all sit down together to talk this through. Tell your dad how you are concerned about him and then share how these outbreaks of emotion are making you and your mum feel. It may be that your dad is struggling with his diagnosis and past and current treatment and needs support to help him process what he has been through.

    There are often cancer support centres within hospitals that can offer patients and loved ones talking therapies and can signpost to other organisations if needed.

    The Lenalidomide and gabapentin can both cause mood changes and depression and anxiety in some people so perhaps also gently suggest your dad speaks to his doctor about this. They will be able to talk this through and assess his medications. Perhaps a suitable time can be arranged when your mum is able to go with him to the appointment so she can also hear what is said and ask any questions she has.

    I hope you can get some answers and find a way forward for everyone.

    Best wishes

    Naomi