Help needed - how can I support my friend? She's recently been diagnosed with breast cancer

Hi all,

I need some help supporting a friend who has recently been diagnosed with breast cancer.  I don’t like to bombard her with questions & she doesn’t seem to want to talk about the clinical side of things so this is all I know.

Having recently found a lump she had tests which confirmed breast cancer - stage 1 grade 3- the type that is hormone related.  She’s had a lumpectomy with no spread via lymph nodes.  Originally, the next steps was a course of radiotherapy which she was pleased about as was dreading chemo.  Now the Consultant believes she needs more than radiotherapy as his job is “to do everything possible to prevent recurrence” & has said she needs chemo & drugs to restrict estrogen (which apparently is what feeds her type of cancer),  She is pre-menopausal- 42 years old.

He said that her quality of life during this treatment will be adversely affected with possible hair loss, tooth loss & all the symptoms associated with menopause & that she will need to continue with the drugs for up yo 10 years with all the side effects they bring.  She is devastated about this negative news.  I don’t know the name of these drugs but was wondering if anyone else has had a similar diagnosis with first hand experience of the side effects?  I really want to give her something positive to cling to as at the moment it all appears to be doom & gloom so any positive stories to balance the bad bits would be greatly appreciated so I can feed back? Thanks for reading.

  • Hello, and sorry to hear about your friend and her diagnosis of breast cancer.

    It can be very hard when first diagnosed, as many people here on the forum would tell you. There is the shock, plus a lot of information to understand very quickly. It is quite overwhelming.

    How someone deals with this news and information given is very individual. It can affect mental health quite badly, and time is needed to really go through everything.

    We have more information on our mental health and cancer pages if helpful to read through at all.

    However, everyday thousands of people affected by cancer slowly work their way through the path of treatment and for many people into remission and recovery. The Chat forum allows people to be on here who wish to support others. It may be that your friend will want to at some point, and in her own way, engage in a forum like this, or read some information on our webpages.

    Also Breast Cancer Now, the UK's main breast cancer charity have a lot of support, content and resource to help people affected by breast cancer through treatment and beyond.

    There are many positive stories out there, this page goes through different breast cancer stories if useful, but for her it maybe she just needs some time and to break the treatment stages down.

    If she, or you, would like to call us at all then do on 0808 800 4040. Lines are open mon-fri, 9-5.

    Sarah.