My mum had cancer in her right lung, found during a routine scan. She said it was caught early and had surgery to remove it. About a year later, a smaller tumour appeared in the left lung which was treated with radiotherapy... this was two years ago. In my naivety, I didn't research or question that it was another small tumour that was found early, and now frequent scans were needed to make sure nothing else pops up. Now I realise cancer in the second lung means that the cancer has metastised, making it a Stage IV diagnosis. This month, there was a shadow on her scan between the lung and kidney, which resulted in follow up scans. The most recent scans shows that the cancer in her left lung is stable (they have called it 'nodular soft tissue attenuation at the left upper lobe', but blocks part of her airway, and there in enlargement in her liver, and swelling and calcification in her adrenal gland. She also has other smoking-related complications like emphysema and COPD.

The part that baffles me is that she claims after speaking to her Oncologist, she is "free of cancer" and that she doesn't have a stage (and never had been given one)... let alone a Stage IV. She is just waiting to be signed off as "all clear" when the time comes. I don't have access to her doctors or nurses and she is my only source of information. She always lies about or delays information like this until the worst of it has passed, for example she had thorough testing for breast cancer before all of this and she didn't tell anyone until she got the all clear.

Is she lying about the severity of her cancer? How do I tell her I know she's lying? Any advice would be gratefully received.