Hi, 

I don't even know how to write this, my mental health as at an all time low and the anxiety around a possible cancer diagnosis is crippling me. 

I'm a 38 Yr old woman, 2 children, with asthma but otherwise healthy. My family is currently coping with my dad's stage 4 advanced prostate cancer and all the downs that come with it, so I don't feel like I've got time to worry about myself. 

A few weeks ago I had a funny turn at work, I went very fain, shallow breathing but definitely not asthma related. I could breath it was just faster and harder, my heart was racing, I was boiling hot, sweat dripping off me and felt like I'd pass out. I went to the toilet and had the worse diarrhoea is ever had. At the time I was at work and embaressed, the dizzyness and breathlessness subsided so I took imodium and carried on taking them throughout the day just to get through work. When I got home I went to the toilet and all that came out was blood, no poo just blood! It was bright red and filled the toilet bowl. In the days that passed more blood came  but it was darker. I eventually went to the doctor and they did a fit test which came back positive with a result of 400> the doctor put me on a 2week referral and I sat waiting nervously. Unfortunately I then ended up vomiting blood. I went to A&E and they kept me in as an impatient. They did and abdominal scan which showed fecal loading and blood tests which showed very high crp in stool and mild anemua plus raised infection markers. I've been released with little to no information. All I can think is it's cancer! No one has explained the results to me! I'm due for a sigmoidoscopy next Sunday and it feels miles away. I've since developed stomach aches and urgency to poo. Lack of appetite, just generally feeling tired.

I feel so low, I've had no information and I'm already thinking the worse.