Feeling anxious about hygiene

Husband has been diagnosed with metastatic colorectal cancer and commenced palliative chemo last week.

He will be on a three week pattern of infusion, tablets for 2 weeks and 1 week off.

As this is all new to us (emergency surgery on 22nd April 25) and everything has happened very quickly I have been using google, trusted sites to try and help him through with diet, nausea, tiredness etc.

However I have also come across lots of information that says you shouldn't be using the same loo and if you do, double flushing and disinfecting after every use. If he is 'sweating' in the night sleep in another bed. We have been married 30 years and share a bathroom and basin. Our toothbrushes are side by side. I have stopped taking a cheeky chug out of his drink left on the side out of fear but struggling to try and navigate my way through fact or fiction.

Do I need to be making provisions to start separating our lives. If so what do I tell him that we now need to start being careful about 'cross-contamination'. As with all newly diagnosed people he is trying to work through some of the toughest months of his life and I think it will break him if I tell him that the drugs he is now taking could also cause harm to others.

Your advice would be appreciated

  • Hi there and thanks for posting

    I am sorry to hear about your husband's situation and it is very natural to have some questions.

    Times like this are never easy for a patient or their loved ones and it is difficult to navigate the changes that treatment brings alongside as well as the do's and don'ts.

    It is important to be sensible in protecting patients from infection by carrying out some basic hygiene measures but it is often impractical and unnecessary for patients to have to separate themselves from their loved ones. Firstly, not everyone has the luxury of 2 bathrooms or 2 beds and couples shouldn't have to stop having intimacy because of their treatment. Some adjustments may need to be made but there is no reason for you to live separate lives.

    You need to do what works for you both. As I say making sure good hygiene is carried out, double flushing toilets and wiping down the loo or sink after use, and having separate towels is good enough.

    If of course you were to pick up a viral illness then you might wish to keep your distance as much as you can to prevent passing anything to your husband, but other than that continue with life as it works for you.

    I hope this helps but do get back in touch if you have more questions. if you prefer to talk over the phone then do give us a call on 0808 800 4040, we're here weekdays 9-5.

    Best wishes

    Naomi